The Superbowl was today Frost. It would have been your first and I know that your Daddy would have watched it with you. Even though you wouldn't have understood the game, your eyes would have been entranced by the movement. We would have watched you watching the game, and fallen even deeper in love with you. I know that this crossed through your Daddy's mind even though he didn't say anything. I know that he is missing the Father/Son bond that he would have formed with you. He wanted that so badly. Now what he has is a Father/Angel bond. This connection, though difficullt to understand, is deeper. It is deeper because it resides totally within him. The only way that he can feel you is to look within himself and search his own soul for the parts of himself that he would have given to you. This is one of the gifts that you left with us Frost. Because to see all of you he has to look deeper into me, into my soul, to find what parts of myself I would have given to you. I believe that you have brought us closer, just as your sister has. We have to find what is true in eachother to know what would have been alive in you. Thank you for helping us know that we belong to eachother, just as we belong to our children.
Night, night Frost
Mama loves you.
Those moments when you realize that you were looking forward to doing whatever activity/event with Frost (or for us, Lyra)...those are the hardest I think. That you hadn't "planned" to do them...but they were just going to be part of what your life with them.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if that made sense. But your post made me think of that. Glad you have each other. Hang in there.