Friday, February 5, 2010

Palm Tree

After I was pregnant with Hadley, I noticed that there was a mole on my palm that had not been there before. The mole just so happens to be on my life line. I have looked up what this could indicate in the world of palmistry. Mostly what I found was the word "accident". I thought for the longest time that it referred to your Grandfather's accident. The tree that led to his death. Since it was not there until I was pregnant with your sister I started to make connections with the mole and his death. I wondered if maybe your Grandfather made a silent deal when Hadley was in danger of being born too early. I wondered if he traded his life to save hers. I don't know if he did this or not but I have her and she is healthy and I've always thought that somehow your Grandpa protected her.
We didn't have a warning with you Frost, there was no way anyone could know to make the same deal for you. We all would have done it. We would have traded ourselves so that you could be. Your death was due to an accident too, just like the falling tree that happened to land on your Grandpa. Your tree was a cord, the cord that nourished you, the Tree of Life. I thought that the spot on my hand would only darken one time of my life. I was so wrong. The spot on my hand scares me.
Night, night Frost
Mama loves you.

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