Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sun Catcher

I keep catching myself putting my hand to my stomach. I let it rest on my left side, that is where you hung out the most. I guess I'm looking for you Frost. I know where you were but I don't know where you are. People say you're in Heaven with Grandpa and Grandma and Angels. I believe that, but what I want to know is why can't you come and visit. Can you come and go as you please? Have you? Did I just not recognize when you were here? I understand why people go to psychics and mediums. They go to them for answers. It would be such a relief to know that you are happy, I want to find a sign that proves this to me. I can read things and belive things and dream things, but what I want is a big fat physical proof that my little boy is OK! We deserve to have eachother. I know you belong to me or it wouldn't hurt so much.
What do you do with your time Frost? Do you fly around, can you fly? Do you watch the earth from where you are? Or do you have things to watch that we cannot fathom? Has your energy returned to where-ever it came from? Do you help make the wind blow? Are you the catalyst that enables an acorn to first sprout into a mighty oak? Are you the spark in a child's mind when they read their first word? Have you found your place? Are you of the earth, the heavens, or are you all soul? Maybe you are in all of these places, because I know for me you are everywhere.
One morning the sunlight streamed in through my window, waking me. It was wamth in winter, it did not burn my eyes. It shined in a perfect little oval lying next to me on the bed. I moved into the light and held it. That light hugged me back. I stayed with it, wondering if it was the sign I should be looking for. The proof that you are happy.
Night, night Frost
Mama loves you.

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