Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Eight Months

I feel like I almost saw you yesterday. It was in the silliest place, really. In my exercise class, at the end, we relax in the dark. The instructor speaks to us, calming us and slowing us down. We close our eyes and feel the complete calm of the moment. We are supposed to still our minds and focus on what is now. The feeling is very powerful. I let go of my tension and flow into my thoughts. I see shapes in the middle of my mind. I see a shadowy portrait, a silhouette. I see flashes and feel a shape come to my left side, the side of my womb where you liked to curl up. I try to stay there longer and zero in on the details. I try to mold the shadow into a baby. I want to remain there, I feel myself rise up a bit to try and reach out to the familiarity. I feel tears slide from my eyes to the floor, creating a bond with the physical. Her words bring me back too soon. I roll over, away from the now that I want. I will continue going for the chance to glimpse a part of you that I saw eight months ago today.
Night, night Frost
Mama loves you.

1 comment:

  1. :) night, night jess.
    i'm excited to wake up early to hangout tomorrow.