Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Flocks or Not

Tonight the rain makes me think of you. The snow has gone. I worried that my mind would trap itself in Winter forever just to stay with you. But here I am finding myself in Spring. The rain is nice and gentle. It's relaxing and all you. Everything about it is you. You're wound up in everything now Frost. I feel like nature has taken you in and it's my job to find you in everything I see. I notice birds and how they move, and when there is only one I think that it must be you. I saw a rainbow yesterday morning after a single drop of rain fell on my head and told me to look up. There was a white glint floating under its arch, I couldn't tell if it was a balloon or a gull, so I decided that it must be you. We went for a walk this evening and made honking sounds at the geese in the field. When they answered back and made your sister laugh I knew that you must have told them to. I look at the moon, I have always looked to the moon. But now of course it is only your face I see and it will never be anyone else's face again. I remember walking to my truck in the morning those last days I had with you in my belly. In the morning, in the dark I remember how clear the sky was then. I remember the stars being very close on those mornings. It was like they were coming down so that I might trace the lines between Orion's belt and feel the silk of Cassiopeia's gown. I walked under those stars not knowing that the life I cherished was leaving me and going up with the night. Since then, there have been a few mornings when the sky is the same. On the mornings when the stars come down, I know that you must be visiting me for a bit. My memories of feelings are all that I share with you and so this must be one of our happy times. I pretend that the stars give you back to me for just a little while. When you're with me I whisper to the sky and ask why. She will never answer me. I remember this feeling.
Night, night Frost
Mama loves you.

No comments:

Post a Comment