Fog without the moor

I'm a little bit lost right now. The plan I had made for my life included you. Now that cannot happen, so what do I do instead? I look for importance in simple things. I try to impress and seem interesting. Not so many things have come to me since you left. I wish that there was something that could fill my heart as much as you, Frost. I can't remember what was important to me when I was little. I remember having my feelings hurt, I remember being hurt and worried. I remember trying to please. I remember observing. Is that living? I can remember laughing with others and having fun with others, but I feel like that fun was created by them. What did I bring to their lives? I don't know because they have never told me. Sometimes I draw back and then I become fearful that more time will be wasted. That is when I go too far. What do I do? What do I do?
One morning, driving, I came upon a fog. It drifted around me like a ghostly mane. drawn out by the wind into neverending strands. I wondered why it only existed in this part of town. Not over there, only here. My lights dug through the fog's thickness. They fell upon one spot in the mist at the end of a street I had never travelled down in my life. The spot had a glow about it, it floated above everything else. It had a pulse and its light was for me. It wanted me to see it, it called to me with thoughts of you. I lingered in hopes of adding a sign from you to my collection. But I didn't turn down that street and go to it, for fear of being late. I missed out on you because of life. I have to find a time for us when life doesn't matter.
Night, night Frost
Mama loves you