Vacation

Time was torn up this week, into little pieces here and there. Bits were exalted, massive amounts were wasted. Whether creating or lounging, you were there with me. In my head as I baked, I stirred you in to cookies. In the garden as I tended, my tears for you softened the earth. The fruits have grown up, they are almost full-term. As I lay on my side, curled inside of a pain, you were there. You are always there, drying the tears that living eyes no longer see.
Many of the shreds of time this week were spent watching and that is all. What I saw was this. One leaf caught the wind differently than the rest and it became my favorite. One dragonfly sat where the others would not. Like a bird, it perched upon a wire. Resting its wings in the manner of its greatest foe. One girl sang a song the others did not know. She was okay with being alone. I tried to make time fun for her. We smiled together.
One breath was deeper than the rest. I felt it push me into the ground, down with the cool thought that winter had shaped and kept safe for me. My greatest fear. My greatest truth. My greatest loss. These are all the same. You are gone. I can't tear away time enough to forget, nor do I want to. You stay with me in the pieces.
Night, night Frost
Mama loves you.