Blood

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Your Bells

Every year since we lost you, since your birthday, since this day, December 18th, we have picked out a bell to give to you as your gift.  You will have a little tree full of them someday.  Today there are 3.  I needed something that first year to give to you.  So close to Christmas there were so many ornaments everywhere, among these were bells.  I knew they would be perfect for you.  A silver bell with your name engraved on it, that was your first bell Frost.  Last year, a thin clear glass bell with delicately glittered stripes and a velvet ribbon to hang it by.  Today, a handblown thick glass bell of greens and blues from a far away country.  They are all for you, they will all be different and special.  But I think that the true gift of your bells is the sound.  Your bells help all the angels that fly with you to get their wings.  I know that this is an idea from a movie, but I would like to believe it.  I would like to believe that a tiny sound from Earth could travel as far as it needed in order to be heard, in order to create divine beauty. 
This year, on a very sad day, 26 people were sent to heaven.  20 of them children.  Your sister and I decided that tonight we would ring your bells 26 times so that they could fly with you on your birthday, Frost.  Please show them the peace that surrounds them now.  Show them the windows in the sky, so that they can look down on their families and send the same comfort and hope that you have always sent to us. 
I love you so much, my three year old boy, my perfect angel.  Happy Birthday to you Frost.

Night, night Frost
mama loves you